Letter to a lost friend

I know you'd hate to see me this way
But i just can't bear to live through another day
Physical pain seems to be pure bliss
To feel alive is what i truly miss.

When did i start to die?
Was it when i stopped to cry?
or was it when i realized i was living a lie?
My God, this pain, Tell me Why!

To live, what does it even mean?
In everything we do, should we act keen?
What is the fucking use?
it's always the same old sad news
On life, oh how many different views!

So, as i sit here,
wishing you were somewhere near,
Though we both know that i'll never be happy again,
I want you to know that your friendship was the only pleasant thing i gained,
And when you died, I was only left with this Loneliness and Pain.

Wrote this poem last night in less than 20 minutes, one of my fastest. I was suppose to go out with V and Shar today but as usual, V couldn't make it but then im also sick so its okk. sigh, i feel like nothing matters anymore, you know. First it was me alone on my sinking sampan, then shar joined in and now we're throwing away the oars and buckets..we're gonna go anywhere the sampan is gonna take us. haha..weird, i know but we are happy kids who dont give a fuck abt the world anymore cuz the world is filled with shallow, hypocritical fuckheads..LOL. Oh yeah, i hope i get into the Song Composing Club..I could write lyrics and learn how to put the melody in but im not intending to sing. Aliah is interested in the singing part(: it would be my glorifying moment when someone sings my song, my words..wow..okk i shall not dream too much..I really really hope i get into this club you know. either this or NP Strings. omg, my mind just went blank and this happens all the time..you see i've totally given up on living or caring abt anything anymore. yay me. oh and i realized yesterday that i dont have a crush on anyone..Davey is the only man i'll ever love..
HAHAHA it sounds so drama right?

Gone'